Why We Homeschool
Firstly, let me start by saying that anything negative, weird, odd or non-conformist about my family stems from me. My husband is the nicest more normal. wholesome kind of person one can imagine. He’s the one that balances my more unusual tendencies.
We stumbled on homeschooling because I hated school and I didn’t want my children to have to suffer what I did. Bern is most likely dyslexic and Katelin, gifted. Both are not ideal candidates for a one-size-fits-all kind of education systems. Cian, the youngest, is also known as Master Disaster. Can you imagine him in a class of 50 kids? I also admit to feeling a small degree of sympathy for the teachers, were I to unleash my offspring on them.
I don’t know if my reasons for homeschool are necessarily right, but I confess my hatred for school started early and has never wavered. University and college were totally different and not to be confused with the mind numbing, soul crushing, individual repressive environment of school. I hated the subjects, i hated the teachers, i hated the situation and i hated the corporal discipline dished out at the the whims and fancies of a 5 foot despot.
ONLY ONE TEACHER has made a good impression on me and her name is Mrs. Ramani. I found her by some stroke of luck and persuaded her to teach me a two year SPM literature syllabus in four months. I scored an A1 and tormented her twice a week at UDA Ocean for 16 weeks. She really disliked me at first. She thought I was insane, impulsive and ill prepared. She was at least partially right. But I put up with her abuse because she knew how to teach. She showed me the paths but let me explore them alone. She criticised objectively and acknowledge prgress fairly. That’s all a student can ask for.
I really sucked at my first year of University, reading a BSc Psychology and Birmingham. I really had no idea what to do. I did my best to memorise and regurgitate everything my lecturers spewed out during those lectures but I kept failing. I barely made it through my first year….and I was miserable and convinced of my innate stupidity. Then in the middle of second a year, some random student said to me, “You know all the facts, yet I score better than you. I bet it’s because I don’t just accept everything they tell me.” And slowly, those innocent words wormed their way into my consciousness and began to work a change. Was i really supposed to question the powers that be? I had been told to shut up and beaten into compliance too many times to count. Now, suddenly, it’s ok to question and critique?
By the time, I fully reversed my method of sitting exams and writing assignments, it was too late to save myself from the ignoble 2:2. I was only 0.25% away from a 2:1 and I could have pleaded with the Dean for special consideration etc. But I proudly retained that grade forever as a reminder to me that I will never again do things that way I was taught to by the Malaysian education system.
(I think many people escape unscathed and do well in tertiary education in spite of our education system. However, I stuck out like a sore thumb from an early age and every attempt was made to insist I conform as much as possible. I was tall, loud spoken, and avid reader who corrected my teacher’s spelling mistakes, and puberty came early. This combination of factors ensured every teacher to cross my path made assumptions about me before I even opened my mouth. Not pleasant.)
Now that I am a parent, I have decided I don’t want my children’s personalities to be lost to peer pressure, teacher disapproval, endless hours in school and all the other drawbacks of mainstream education. I don’t want them to be forever chasing someone else’s idea of ‘good’ or ‘A’ or acceptable and interesting. If Bern thinks that watering the plants is riveting, then so be it. Katelin loves to sing and make up songs. In school, she’d simply be told to sing-a-long. These are really very simple things to sacrifice for the greater good, I’ve been told. Well, until you can verbalise what this greater good is and who exactly it’s good for, please spare me. I like my plant watering, silly song singing, quirky kids.
Homeschooling is also attractive to us because
- we’ll use less petrol going to and fro and waiting around for kids to emerge
- we get to spend lots and lots and lots of time with our kids
- we’ll go on holiday when we please instead of when the airlines feel like bankrupting us.
- we the parents will learn new things
- the kids can learn what interests and engages them
- the kids will have more time for other activities like horse riding, fencing or dancing
- less wasted time
- they’ll eat properly with me, rather than the rubbish that is offered in school canteens
- they’re less likely to continually be down with a cold or whatever some child in class is harbouring
- they actually get to have and enjoy their pets
Sounds like a win win situation to me.
July 30, 2008 at 4:39 am
Hoorah! I can definitely relate to this. Like you, I did not fit into “the system” because as a boy I had too much energy to be sat at a desk crunching algebra which to date, I swear, I still do not comprehend. Luckily for me, I knew I wasn’t stupid. It’s just that I lacked the photographic memory required to pass exams. Like you, I scraped through but I did not leave the education system without battle scars of my own.
I feel that there must be an alternate way to the readily accepted “normal” methods employed in shaping our young minds instead of demanding conformity and subjecting them to labels assigned to them at a tender age which would ultimately mould their beliefs of what they feelabout themselves and what they are capable of. I don’t think that any individual or institution has the right to take away the God given right to dream. As a matter of fact, alot of the great accomplishments in society are a result of dreams. The possibilty of flight was a dream. Imagine what would have happened if the Wright brothers actually believed that they were not capable of flying? What about Steve Jobs and the creation of the Apple computer? All these inventions opened the floodgates to things that are very much an important part of our daily lives. More impotantly, all these ideas evolved because man dared to dream… Kudos to you on your decision to take your childrens’ lives and place it in their own hands! We need to teach children that being stupid is not the same as feeling stupid. Being stupid is subjective.(Because most of the time the person or institution labeling the term on the person is stupid and that wipes out all credibility of what stupid means in the first place) Feeling stupid on the other hand, is just plain suppression by a system that was originally intended for use in societal segregation.
October 3, 2008 at 2:34 am
It is a very daunting task that you have set for yourself and your kids. I admit that I would never have entertained that idea for a moment even.Partly becoz’ I need to bring back the bacon and also the mother of my kids is Chinese edu based and my kids live in a bilingual world.
The challenges will be immense and I do pray and hope it will turn out well for you and the kids.
Please remember we live in a world based on academia and paper qualifications. However much we rail against it and disagree with it, it is still a capitalistic world where earning and living a comfortable life entails doing well in a given job or occupation.
I never knew you hated school that much or that you did poorly at uni. You did really well in all the public exams and wrongly assumed it was a breeze for you. How presumptious of us ‘all knowing parents ‘ huh
Now please dun give me Job or v
October 3, 2008 at 2:36 am
Ignore last line please…absented minded old man that I am now, forgot to press delete..
October 3, 2008 at 1:45 pm
A L Wong, as my favourite uncle, I am honoured that you took the time to read. I appreciate the concerns and I admit that I too have the same reservations. However, the world is constantly changing and we cannot know what the future will bring. However, I sense that those who can see material things for what they really are, ‘possessions’ will have a slight advantage. This is one of the things I hope to impart. Having a big semi D, two cars and designer bags do not equal being happy. Furthermore, these things are not the only manifestation of a ‘comfortable life’.
Liking yourself, an unending desire to learn and and open mind are more likely to lead to true happiness. Family, good friends and a responsible attitude combined with a sense of accountability also add to this.
Just a note, I don’t resent mum/dad/any parents for their assumptions. I think it is perfectly acceptable for parents to think they are doing their best for their kids. I don’t know any parent who would deliberately put their child in a situation that would make them unhappy. My immense dissatisfaction with school just means that I want something different for my kids. It is in no way a ‘comment’ on my parent’s parenting.
April 12, 2009 at 3:35 pm
congratz!
congratulations for making this decision. I hope I can be strong enough not to conform to society when I become a parent later in my life. and oh yeah, like you, I discovered that Malaysian education system really just produce mediocre student. They don’t provide real remedial education to the lower ability students and just look at the non-existence of our enrichment schools. eventually the gifted students don’t have a chance to be polished and being pulled down to become like the rest and its hard for the lower of the strata to climb up. what have become of them? look at our society nowadays. the system and some of the teachers have failed them.
July 24, 2009 at 3:49 am
It is amazing that despite the education system, some of us have retained our ability to think independently. Your experience is an eye-opener, one that the readers of the magazine I edit would benefit from. Would you consider having this piece published?
July 26, 2009 at 10:05 am
i would be honoured!
July 26, 2009 at 11:12 am
Excellent! Pls email me directly at ambrosecheryl at gmail.com. I need a few details and I’ll explain about the magazine. Thanks!
September 28, 2009 at 8:51 am
i wish i can do the same like you – home school my children. it is my dream but at the pace that we are now (in monetary terms), i won’t be able to leave the work for now and home school my children. i can only do that at night and during weekend. truly agree that malaysian education system produce mediocre students. i was one of them! i was timid and shy to express my criticism and sometimes i rather keep quiet that voice of things that are not correct in public. it was a shame, at least for me.
keep writing and sharing your home school experience with us. God’s willing, one day i can home school at least one of my younger children.
rgds.
October 6, 2009 at 7:37 am
Hi. I was more than thrilled to find information about home schoolling in this page. It is very difficult to find such information that applies to Malaysian in the internet. I would like to home school my child in the coming years. The information that I would like to know is…is there any legal requirement for us to home school our kids? Do we need permission from the ministry of education not to enroll our kids to the national school? And lastly, how does home school children sit for qualification papers, e.g. o levels, a levels etc? Is there a syllabus that we can follow?
Thank you in advance.