Surprises

Yesterday we went to the creek to splash and play. But life it’s really full of magic when you homeschool; we found a horse!

It was really skinny so I asked a friend to swing by Pet Epicure for some hay. We fed her and put some antibiotic ointment on her wound.

Today we bought some supplies and bathed her in addition to giving her more hay and antibiotic cream.

We braided her hair too. She’s still skinny but is a lot cleaner. The flies are less interested and she already recognises us.

Am not sure where this will take us. Is she abandoned or just neglected? Will she be there tomorrow? How long can we afford to feed a HORSE? No answers have I, but that doesn’t mean we can’t do our best for her today.

A mother’s point of view

Tonight, I am tired.

I want to do more with the blog.  The whole direction has changed and I want it to be more than just a heap of information.  This is where I will tell our story and sometimes, share useful information.

When I first began, I had these ideals of being useful and helpful.  I wanted to be someone people could turn to for information and advice.  Nowadays though, doing right by the kids and my family, and work and the pets….it’s about all I can muster.

Am I giving up? Finding it too hard? Faltering?

No.  I’ve just crossed an invisible line where I realise that the whole homeschooling thing is so… infinite.  It’s a (w)holitsic thing and the very dynamic of our family, our friendships, priorities and lifestyle, it’s all beginning to shift.  I’m not sure exactly what these sublte changes are and where we will end up, but we’re OK with that.

I love how our lives have changed for the better.  The kids are sick less often.  Maybe it’s less exposure to germs, or maybe they’re eating better.  It’s a chicken and egg thing.  I love reading to them and hearing their thoughtful questions.  I love being able to admire their kind hearts and quick minds.  I love watching them play and imagine.  I love how they care for each other and stand up for each other when I get mad at one.  I love being able to tell them it’s not OK to tattle tale.  I love it all.

But it’s a lot of work.  And I am just a little tired tonight.

The Sun, the Moon and the Stars….

I’ve been trying to teach Bern and Katelin to read.  Can I tell you how relieved I am to have two (actually three, but I’m discussing two) children?  Each as different as the sun and moon?  Can I also admit I have had moments when thoughts of slamming my head into something hard are alluring?  I am human and don’t want my naysayers to think I’m giving up or that I think this is the wrong choice for us.   But I’m also not for painting a perfect, blissful (and false) picture of endless homeschooling bliss.  That would be dishonest and that just ain’t me.

Katelin absorbs information like a sponge.  She’s quick, determined and a touch careless.  She likes to guess but she’s got good deduction skills to fall back on.  She makes me feel like HSing is easy and the only way to maximise her potential. If Katelin were my only child, I would have medals of gold cast monthly for my superior and perfect parenting skills. Downside:  She really wants to go to school so she can have more friends.

Bern is the one who makes me so tempted by violence.  He has poor mental stamina and the retention of a goldfish.  While I know it’s ok for 7yo’s to not be able to read (though this would be a disaster in conventional schools) I would also expect decent letter recognition!  It’s not like I haven’t been teaching him his letters in various settings etc.  He makes me feel panicky and terribly flawed.  What mother entertains thoughts of literally beating it into a child?  Sigh. Upside:  He can improvise and adapt origami planes for hours.

What am I trying to get across?  Well, here’s a little list

1. Each child is unique and though tempting (and infinitely more convenient), we should never expect them to march to the same tune.
2. HS is not easy and it’s not perfect.  It’s life: changeable, dynamic and a learning process.  Don’t set yourself up for failure by being unrealistic.
3. At least half of what HS turns out to be for your family depends on you, the driving force.  If you’re flexible and realistic, you’re going to have a lot more fun.  And see a lot more of your child’s ability to learn independent of you.  If you’re rigid and too demanding, you may face disappointment in yourself and your child.

My family is different to your and by no means is our way better than your way.  We have bad days when I feel the kids have learned nothing and we have good days when they’ve worked at their math, reading and writing.  And we have real days when I realise that I should get over myself, for every moment is a learning moment when your a kid (whether your spent it setting up a tea party for the dolls or whether your did a dozen pages of Math Mammoth.)

Homeschooling and socialization

Lovely well meaning people keep asking how my kids will socialize if they are homeschooled.  And I keep repeating myself.  So, I’m going to write it down here and tell them to read it because when I say it now, its so rote and practised, there isn’t any conviction

Well, in a typical week, Bern is visited once by Farhan who lives in the palatial mansion behind us.  They barely speak the same language but seem to have fun comparing what they can and cannot get away with on their bicycles.  Farhan is 8 and can cycle anything!  He has an amazing collection of bikes and can do tricks on them.  Bern can barely cycle with slightly elevated training wheels , bless his little uncoordinated soul!

At least twice a week, they play with Hannah and Sophie from further down the road.  Their games tend to be wilder, with lots of screaming, water splashing and dress up.  For many weeks, they were the Navi from Avatar defending home tree.  My mulberry tree is somewhat the worse for wear but the children, dressed in belts, tails, nerve braids and anklets made from Zoob were totally immersed in the alternate dimension for at least a month.  Their current pursuit of choice is catching and observing the insects and spiders in our gardens.

The children all go for gymnastics at Scope and have a fabulous time there.  Their constant companion there is shy Lounes.  He is an only child and somewhat reserved and introverted.  However, the children interact in such a respectful way that us adults need to learn from them.  Sometimes, Lounes is reluctant to participate and Bern or Kiki will try to coax him into joining.  If he refuses, they take it in their stride and carry on.  If he agrees, they are so pleased.  If he joins in later, there is no ridicule or resentment, just happiness that another child will learn what they are learning too.

My children also have a wonderful relationship with my grandmother, aunts and uncles and my cousins.  They will happily go off with them all day and sometimes even overnight.   And remember, Cian only turned 3 in March.  When we go out as a family, the children often ask if Taima can come along or if we are are shopping, they will remember that YeeMa like that biscuit and we should get her some.

True socialization is not about 45 children in a classroom regulated by bells and being asked to concentrate by a harrassed teacher.  It is not 20minute recess breaks where one has to fit in a toilet break, a snack, catch up on home work and perhaps a little bit of play.

True socialization is not about being told off when you help your classmate with work he struggles with.  Nor is it about being segregated in to Malay, Chinese and Indian for the class quiz.  And it sure as HELL ain’t being rushed off from one tuition class to another so you can score enough A’s to get into a better class.

My friends come from all over the world.  They range from 20 years older to about 15 years younger.  Some of us are poor and some are rich.  Some live in Malaysia, some elsewhere.  Some are HSers, most are not.  Some are religious, some chronic athiests.  Some are married with kids, some are dating.  Some are straight and some committed homosexuals.  Each and everyone is special and precious and almost ALL I DID NOT MEET IN SCHOOL.

Plan of Action – Bern

As many of you already know, Bern will stop going to Kindiecare in a few short weeks.  While I admit some trepidation, I know this is the right decision.  Of late, he has shown reluctance to go to school because he finds it frustrating to have to read.  While he is all for practising writing, reading is something he struggles with.  This in turn has resulted in his reluctance to look at books in his free time; something he used to spend hours doing.  While he still wants us to read to him, he doesn’t want to explore them alone.  It’s like a love story gone wrong.

When he stops school, we’ve decided he will start the Yamaha Junior Music Course and gymnastics.  My intention is to hone and develop his gross motors skills and to give him chance to build his confidence in his physical abilities.  I feel that being able to use his body will help settle his energy and hone his concentration.  When he turns six, he wants to take up fencing too.  If he s still keen, 8 months down the line, then Jon and I are all for it.

The intention is to keep him busy with lots of physical, manual and tactile activites while continuing to read stories and poetry to him.  We’re also encourging his artistic impulses.

In case you’re still guessing, we’re taking the delayed approach (created by the late Dr. Raymond and Dorothy Moore) with him.  The Moore formula states:

1. Study everyday, from a few minutes to hours.
2. Manual work, at least as much as study.
3. Home and/or community service, an hour or so per day.

They also offer the following advise, “Focus on kid’s interests and needs, be an example in consistency, curiousity and patience.  Live with them!  Worry less about tests.” 

Here are some resources that explain the rationale behind it.  Obviously we don’t intend to do this for Katelin, but this is the wonder of homeschool.  You do what is right for each child.

http://members.aol.com/usteach/styles/delayed.html 

http://www.moorefoundation.com/article.php?id=3